100+ Hilarious Kid-Friendly Jokes and Riddles That Adults Will Enjoy, Too

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100+ Hilarious Kid-Friendly Jokes and Riddles That Adults Will Enjoy, Too

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A few months ago, we started checking out joke books from the library and soon discovered how hilarious kid jokes can be. Every time we liked one, we'd add it to our list and before we know it, the list had grown to be more than 100 jokes/riddles long! We thought it was due time to share these jokes with you all. Here they are, organized in a few popular categories.

Download the free printable HERE.

Quick links to each category:

We love telling jokes, asking random questions and would you rather questions during:

  • Road trips
  • Mealtimes
  • Waiting in long lines
  • Car rides to/from school
  • In school lunches
  • Etc.

Food Jokes

Q: When do you 'go' at red and 'stop' at green?

A: When you're eating a watermelon.

Q: What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?

A: Bacon and legs.

Q: How do you turn a soup into gold?

A: Add 24 carrots.

Q: What do you get when you cross a jazz musician and a sweet potato?

A: Yam sessions.

Q: Who's the boss at the dairy?

A: The big cheese.

Q: What are two things you cannot have for breakfast?

A: Lunch and dinner.

Q: What happens when you tell an egg a joke?

A: It cracks up.

Q: Why couldn't the teddy bear eat his dessert?

A: He was stuffed.

Q: Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon?

A: it's got great food but no atmosphere.

Q: What did all the potato chips say to each other?

A: Shall we go for dip?

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?

A: An impasta.

Q: Why was the man fired from the orange juice factory?

A: Because he couldn't concentrate.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Jamaica.
Jamaica who?

Jamaica lunch yet?

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?

Figs the doorbell - it's broken!

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Gorilla.
Gorilla who?

Gorilla me a steak.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Juicy.
Juicy who?

Juicy what I saw?

Name Jokes

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Lena.
Lena who?

Lena little closer and I'll tell you.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Cash.
Cash who?

No, thanks. I prefer almonds.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Hugo.
Hugo who?

Hugo-ing to let me in or not?

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Alison.

Alison to you after you listen to me.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Kent.
Kent who?

Kent you tell who it is?

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Ben.
Ben who?

Ben knocking on the door all afternoon.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Havana.
Havana who?

Havana wonderful time. Wish you were here.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Olive
Olive who?

Olive you!

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Annie.
Annie who?

Annie body home?

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Isabel.
Isabel who?

Isabel working? I've been ringing it for hours!

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Nadia.
Nadia who?

Nadia head if you understand what I'm saying.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Luke.
Luke who?

Luke through the peephole and you'll see.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Holly.
Holly who?

Holly days are here again.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Justin.
Justin who?

Justin the neighborhood. Thought I'd stop by.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Phillip.
Phillip who?

Phillip my bag with treats, please.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?

Tamara we'll have leftovers.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Amos.
Amos who?

A-mos-quito bit me.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Frank.
Frank who?

Frank you for being my friend.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Otto.
Otto who?

Otto know, but I've forgotten.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Xena.
Xena who?

Xena good movie lately?

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Jess.
Jess who?

Jess me and my shadow.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Shirley.
Shirley who?

Shirley you know my name by now.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Candice.
Candice who?

Candice be the last knock-knock joke?

Animal Jokes

Q: How do you close an envelope underwater?

A: With a seal.

Q: How does a mouse feel after a bath?

A: Squeaky clean.

Q: What do you call a cat that bowls?

A: An alley cat.

Q: What do you cross a bear and a skunk?

A: Winnie the phew.

Q: How do baby birds learn to fly?

A: They wing it.

Q: What happened when the cat put the "M" into the freezer?

A: It turned into mice.

Q: If chickens wake up when the roosters crow, when do ducks wake up?

A: At the quack of dawn.

Q: What happened to the frog that parked illegally?

A: He was toad away.

Q: When is a baseball player like a spider?

A: When he catches a fly.

Q: What do you call two spiders that just got married?

A: Newlywebs

Q: What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?

A: Swimming trunks.

Q: What did the bee sit on?

A: Its bee-hind.

Q: Why do humming birds hum?

A: Because they forgot the words.

Q: What did the beaver say to the log?

A: It's been nice gnawing you.

Q: What do you get when you cross a tortoise with a porcupine?

A: A slowpoke.

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A: A gummy bear.

Q: What do you do when your poodle won't stop sneezing?

A: Call a dog-tor.

Q: What did the dog say when it's tail got caught in the door?

A: It won't be long now.

Q: What do you give a dog with a fever?

A: Mustard. It's the best thing for a hot dog.

Q: How do you catch a squirrel?

A: Climb a tree and act like a nut.

Q: What did the bee say to the flower?

A: Hey, bud. When did you open?

Q: What kind of animal would you never play video games with?

A: A cheetah.

Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?

A: A pork chop.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Roach.
Roach who?

Roach you a letter. Did you get it?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?

Is there an owl in here?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Aardvark.
Aardvark who?

Aardvark a million miles for you.

Misc Knock Knock Jokes

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Pasture.
Pasture who?

Pasture bed time, isn't it?

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?

You're welcome!

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Nuisance.
Nuisance who?

What's nuisance yesterday?

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Dinosaur.
Dinosaur who?

Dino-saur because he fell down!

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Adair.
Adair who?

Adair once, but now I'm bald.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Thumping.
Thumping who?

Thumping just crawled up my leg.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Kenya.
Kenya who?

Kenya guess who it is?

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Distressing.
Distressing who?

Distressing has too much vinegar.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Scold.
Scold who?

Scold out here.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Woo.
Woo who?

Don't get so excited - it's just a joke.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?

Dewey have to keep hearing all these jokes?

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Howl.
Howl who?

Howl I get in if you don't open the door?

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Waddle.
Waddle who?

Waddle I do if you don't open the door?

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snow time for questions. Just let me in.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Twig.
Twig who?

Twig or treat.

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Walrus.
Walrus who?

Why do you walrus ask that silly question?

Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Alaska.
Alaska who?

Alaska one more time to open the door.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dozen.
Dozen who?

Dozen anyone want to play with me?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Wooden shoe.
Wooden shoe who?

Wooden shoe like to know!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Boo. 
Boo who?

There, there. Please don't cry.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Zombies.
Zombies who?

Zombies make honey zombies don't.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Hutch.
Hutch who?

You'd better take care of that cold.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Eiffel.
Eiffel who?

Ouch. Eiffel down the steps.

Misc Riddles/Q & A Jokes

Q: How are two banana peels like shoes?

A: They're a pair of slippers.

Q: On what nuts can pictures hang?

A: Wall-nuts

Q: What paces back and forth on the ocean floor?

A: A nervous wreck

Q: What did the beach say when the tide came in?

A: Long time no sea.

Q: Why does it get hot after a baseball game?

A: Because all the fans have left.

Q: What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean?

A: Nothing. It just waved.

Q: What did one math book say to the other math book?

A: I've got a lot of problems.

Q: What asks no questions but must be answered?

A: The doorbell.

Q: What has two legs but can't walk?

A: A pair of pants.

Q: How is baseball like cake?

A: They both need batters.

Q: What can hold a car but can't lift a feather?

A: A garage.

Q: What travels around the world but never leaves its corner?

A: A postage stamp.

Q: What is a monster's favorite place to swim?

A: Lake Erie.

Q: How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern?

A: With a pumpkin patch.

Q: What has a bottom at the top?

A: Your legs!

Q: What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?

A: They both weigh a ton.

Q: What does the blanket say to the bed?

A: Got you covered.

Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster?

A: Hello, hello.

Q: What did the hat say to the scarf?

A: You go around while I go ahead.

Q: How do you warm up a room after it's been painted?

A: Give it a second coat.

Q: Where do snowflakes dance?

A: At a snow ball.

Q: What rock group has 4 men who don't sing?

A: Mount Rushmore.

Q: What happens when you annoy a clock.

A: It gets ticked off.

Q: What do you call a mom or dad you can see right through?

A: Transparent.

Q: Why was the piano on the porch?

A: Because it lost it's keys.

Q: What starts with an "e", ends in an "e", but only has one letter?

A: An envelope.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?

A: Never mind. It's over your head.

Q: Why are bowling alleys always quiet?

A: So you can hear the pin drop.

Q: Why do teachers always wear sunglasses?

A: Because her class was so bright.

Q: What do you call a computer superhero?

A: A screen saver.

Q: Why couldn't anyone find the deck of cards?

A: They got lost in the shuffle.

Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?

A: Wouldn't you if you had to change in the middle of the street?

Q: Why don't mummies go on vacation?

A: They're afraid they might unwind.

Q: What did the eyeballs say to each other?

A: Just between the two of us, something smells.

There you have it, some of the funniest (in our opinion) kid jokes adults will actually appreciate, too. We love telling these at random times to each other, but they also make great lunch notes, dinner entertainment, and travel entertainment.

Your turn! Surely you know some funny kid-appropriate jokes of your own that we haven't mentioned. Leave them in the comments below and we'll happily add them to this ever-growing list.

If this inspired you to grab some joke books of your own to add to your kids' bookshelf, your coffee table, or leave on the dinner table. Here are a few to pick from:

 


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